C'est L'Amour

I had an insightful conversation with a friend (you know who you are) just the other day. We were talking about love and all its idiosyncrasies and here's what we have concluded: Love sucks or rather, unrequited love sucks. When you're in love, you are helpless. You give the other person so much power over you. You make yourself so vulnerable to that other person that the slightest unkind word could deal so much damage to your heart. It's like giving the other person a gun to shoot you with, or more poetically, a dagger to stab your heart with.
As much as I am a hopeless romantic, I dread the feeling of being in love because love renders me powerless. It allows the other person to breach the walls that I have built to guard my heart and render me defenseless. When I'm defenseless, that other person could hurt me so easily. The person I love has the power to make me happy or break my heart into a million pieces.
So a message to the one I love.. Please.. be careful with my heart..

Grown Women

Something I found from a chain email.. :)

Girls want to control the man in their life. Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling. Girls check you for not calling them. Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't. Girls are afraid to be alone. Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth. Girls ignore the good guys. Grown women ignore the bad guys. Girls make you come home. Grown women make you want to come home. Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans. Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits. Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man. Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man. Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends). Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends. Girls think a guy crying is weak. Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue. Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so. Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'. Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it. Grown women know that was just one man. Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, igno ring all 'signs'. Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness. Girls will read this and get an attitude. Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.

Love by Khalil Gibran

from a chapter in The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
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Love

When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Lessons of Love

Something cheesy i found while being a forum troll..

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If you find yourself in love with someone who does
not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is
nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to
rest in the other persons heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you
don't love him/her, feel honored that love came
and called at your door, but gently refuse the
gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do
not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls
in love with you, and then love chooses to leave,
do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let
it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses
you. All you can really do is accept it for all
its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the
way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out
and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in
you.

Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give
it to the world around you in anyway you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been
so long without love, they understand love only as
a need. They see their hearts as empty places that
will be filled by love, and they begin to look at
love as something that flows to them rather than
from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to
overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert
to seeing their love as need. They cease to be
someone who generates love and instead become
someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is
a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by
giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has
its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason
for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or
coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only
embrace it when it arrives and give it away when
it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from
your heart or from the heart of your lover, there
is nothing you can do and there is nothing you
should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your
life.

TEN WAYS TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON

Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open. With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize these 10 insights.
#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married. The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married… for the worst!” So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now
#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love” often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for: Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
#3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn’t understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t “get it.” Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved — to feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism’s approach to intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.
#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: 1. chemistry and compatibility 2. share common interests 3. share common life goal Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re “living for,” while you’re single — and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a “soul mate.” A soul mate is a goal mate — two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
#5. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly. Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
#7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There’s a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
#8. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, then you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
#9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
#10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that’s no basis for a marriage.
–by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

The Rules of Breaking Up

found this in craiglist -- quite funny!

RANT: The Rules of Breaking Up

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There seems to have been some confusion regarding division of property and space since we have broken up. YOU, hereafter referred to as the Dumper, do not retain the same rights to such things as ME, hereafter referred to as the Dumpee. Clearly the Dumpee has been wronged (except in certain situations, see Section 1(b) below), and thus retains more rights than the Dumper. To clarify, I have assembled a crack legal team to outline this document, so that you will quit being a complete and total prick. Actually, not all of these things apply to us, but for the sake of friends, family, and members of the general public who have also been Dumped, I’ve included other situations.

This document applies only to those relationships that involved terms such as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” not couples who have taken that long argumentative road-trip that ends in the State of Matrimony. Caveats have been made for engagement, as most rules still apply.

Section 1: Terms of Separation (hereafter termed the Breakup)

(a) The rights of the Dumpee shall be directly proportional to the severity and immaturity of the methods of Separation used by the Dumper. For example, a Dumper (hereafter termed a Good Dumper) who breaks up with Dumpee face-to-face, in person, in a private place, and outlines issues which the Dumpee was aware of, and in fact is not too surprised at, with said discussion ending in a tearful hug cherished by both parties, and perhaps an incident of Goodbye Sex, shall not be severely punished. However, a Dumper (hereafter termed a Bad Dumper) who breaks up with a Dumpee in an especially cowardly way, such as over the phone, through email, or by having a friend tell the Dumpee, shall experience extensive limitations on rights after the Breakup. Most severely punished shall be those Dumpers (hereafter termed Assholes) who repeatedly Breakup and then Beg Forgiveness, and Dumpers who have Cheated.

(b) Exceptions to the Dumper/Dumpee division of rights are as follows: Dumpees who provoke the Breakup by avoiding the Dumper until such time as the Dumper feels forced to end the relationship. Dumpees who intentionally get caught Cheating and are shortly afterward, Dumped. These Dumpees shall be considered as Dumpers for the purposes of this document.

Section 2: Division of Property and Space

(a) Material Property
(1) If the Dumper is a Good Dumper, all material property that Dumper brought to the relationship shall be returned to the Dumper. Likewise, all property the Dumpee possessed before the relationship shall be returned to the Dumpee.
(2) If the Dumper is a Bad Dumper, or an Asshole, Dumpee has the right to destroy or sell any property left for any period of time in the Dumpee’s possession. This includes, but is not limited to, furniture, electronics, kitchen wares, clothing, CDs, and cars. Dumpee is aware that destruction of items holds a possibility of legal ramifications and continuous retaliation, and destroys Dumper’s property then at their discretion.

(b) Gifts
(1) Dumpee retains all rights to gifts he or she received during the relationship, especially expensive ones. In the case of a Good Dumper, Dumpee can determine whether return of these gifts is acceptable. If the Dumper was female, and the Dumpee was male, and said parties were engaged, and said engagement ended in a Good Breakup, the engagement ring should be returned to the Dumpee. If the Dumpee does not want the ring, the Dumper can sell it on Craigslist and split the profits with the Dumpee. Bad Dumpers and Assholes retain no rights to jewelry or cars.
(2) Dumpee can, if feeling spiteful, box up all gifts received from the Dumper and return them to Dumper with a tear-stained letter. Dumper should feel sufficiently bad, and should not, under any circumstances, maintain possession of these gifts in order to give them to future Girlfriends/Boyfriends. Said gifts should be sold and Dumper is then welcome to use the money to take a vacation to Tahoe and hopefully, break their leg skiing.

(c) Exchange of Property
(1) If the couple was living together, and the Dumper has moved out, the Dumper should send a friend to pick up his or her belongings. The exception is a Good Dumper, who may be on sufficiently good terms with Dumpee to come back and retrieve their own things. If this is the case, it should still be done while the Dumpee is Not Home. Bad Dumpers and Assholes forfeit their belongings, as outlined in Section 2: (a)2.
(2) If the couple was living together, and the Dumpee has moved out, the Dumpee will send a friend to pick up his or her belongings at an appointed date and time. Said friend will not be late and will not linger. Said friend may make a few rude remarks to the Dumper, but such remarks should be brief and to the point. Again, if the Dumper is a Good Dumper, the Dumpee can pick up their own belongings when the Dumper is Not Home.
(3) If the couple did not live together, exchange of property should be done in public at an appointed date and time. Both parties shall be on time and shall not linger. Again, rude remarks shall be brief.
(4) Items not claimed by the Dumper within one calendar month after the Breakup are the property of the Dumpee, unless exchange of property arrangements were made prior to the end of that month. Likewise is true for items not claimed by the Dumpee.
(5) Items that “Cannot Be Found” by either party shall be considered a lost cause after one month. If it was really that important, you shouldn’t have let that idiot have it.

(d) Big Ticket Items
(1) If the relationship included the purchase of a car, a house, a prize-winning show dog, or other such item of which you now both have dual legal ownership, you are in Deep Shit. Maybe you should have thought about making that kind of investment together before you pissed your whole life away? Wait until you’re married, dumbass.

(e) The Pet
(1) See Section 2: Article (d)1 first. If you still want to deal with the Pet (hereafter termed the Dog), we’ll continue. Dogs that were owned by either party before the commencement of the relationship shall return to their original owners. Dogs acquired during the course of the relationship shall preferably go with the owner who gave them the most care. C’mon, you know there’s one of you who did all the feeding, the training, the walking, the pooper-scooping, the leash-buying and the ball-tossing. The Dog goes with that one. Except in the case where that person is a Bad Dumper or an Asshole, in which case, Dumpee retains possession of the Dog. There shall be no Split Custody, or Visitation Rights involving the Dog. It’s not good for the Dog, and it’s not good for you. If all things regarding the Dog were absolutely equal, then a Poll of Friends may be taken, or a Coin may be Flipped. Decisions made by PoF or CF about the Dog are final. If you did not get the Dog, and you are distraught, wait 2 weeks until your head clears, and then go to the Humane Society and get another one. You will be much happier that way.

(f) The Kid
(1) Sigh. Okay, first see Section 2: Article (d)1. You are an idiot. Haven’t you heard of birth control? Well now it’s not just you in this boat, so a lot of the earlier terms and conditions about Dumpers and Dumpees may not apply. Even if your Breakup involved a Bad Dumper or an Asshole, you will have to be nice, for the Sake of the Kid. This is really outside the range of this document, so go to court and try not to screw up your Kid’s life any more than you already have.

Section 3: The Friends

(a) The Dumpee gets the Friends. Sorry, dems da breaks. If you were smart about picking your relationship, you were dating somebody who was not from your immediate circle of friends, so when you Breakup, you each go cry to your respective group and everything is dandy. Unfortunately, many friends become Booty Calls, which can then become That Girl I’m Sorta Dating, which can then become Your Girlfriend. Relationships over one year also have a high incidence of Combined Friends. Regardless, the Dumpee still gets the Friends! But there are some details/exceptions/conditions associated with the possible future division of Friends, so here they are:

Specifics of Division of Friends

(1) In the case of a Good Dumper, Split Custody is acceptable. Within the first 6 months, a Good Dumper has the right to still hang out with the Friends, but only if the Dumpee is not present. After 6 months, it is acceptable for the Dumper to call the Dumpee and request mutual access to the Friends. If Dumpee is amenable, the two may attend a party or barbeque together with the Friends. The Good Dumper is at all times aware of the Dumpee’s feelings, and will be the first to leave if things get awkward. After one year, expect normal Friend-Dumper-Dumpee interactions to resume. If you got dumped by a Good Dumper and you are all hanging out again after a year and you’re totally cool and you’re not strongly reconsidering getting back together, then Damn. He’s probably gay. That’s cool that you guys are still friends though. Maybe you can shop and stuff.

(2) In the case of a Bad Dumper, Visitation Rights are acceptable, under some circumstances. Bad Dumper only retains Friendship Rights with his or her Best Friend, and then, only at Best Friend’s discretion. Everyone else is fully justified in telling you to piss off. After one year, a Split Custody arrangement may be made, but Bad Dumper is never to be allowed at a party that the Dumpee is attending. This must be enforced strongly by Friends and the Dumpee.

(3) In the case of an Asshole, no rights are retained regarding the Friends. Not even to the Best Friend. You fucked up but good, so now go find yourself a bunch of shallow, selfish people just like yourself, so you can all get drunk and stab each other in the back. This also applies to such Dumpers described in Section 1; Article (b), as those Dumpers who pose as Dumpees are especially despicable.

(b) Relationships with Friends after the Breakup

(1) Under NO circumstances is a Dumper allowed to sleep with any of the Friends after the Breakup. ESPECIALLY the Dumpee’s Best Friend, but truly, there are NO exceptions. Even if she says it’s okay. Even if you guys have a long talk about it and she says it’s fine and she wants you to be happy. You better take a good look at a girl’s Friends before you get Committed, because if you would ever like to possibly sleep with one of those girls, you should not enter into the Relationship. Good Dumpers who break this rule can then be qualified as Bad Dumpers. Sleeping with the Best Friend immediately qualifies you as an Asshole. (Best Friend can also then be Broken Up With, and most of the terms of this document apply.) Remember, Assholes are open to justifiable destruction of property, and are often deserving of a swift kick in the Balls.

Section 4: The Neighborhood

(a) The Dumpee retains all rights to the Neighborhood, including but not limited to, grocery stores, shopping malls, dog parks, coffee shops, bars, hang-outs, strip malls, carwashes, and restaurants. If the Dumper sees the Dumpee in one of these places, the Dumper must immediately leave. The only exception is a Good Dumper who is back on Good Terms with the Dumpee, especially one year or more after the Breakup. See Section 3; Article (a)1 for details.


All terms of this document are not legally binding, but they make a hell of a lot of sense. Don't be an Asshole, and your life will be so much easier.




(In case you didn’t get it, this means I get the stuff, the friends and the hangouts. Quit whining about your freaking sweatshirt and stay the fuck away from me.)

Carry Me Out in Your Arms

Share ko lang..
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stoppedin front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her outof the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plumpand shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, Iwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets weresteadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was acivil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost atthe same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was morelikely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me frombehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This wasthe apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Herwords suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wifesaid, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed mywife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she wasunhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At themoment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used tobe something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matterhow mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, shewas a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I wassitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TVtogether. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body.This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, whatwill you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away fromher. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I wasserious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all thestaff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hidesomething while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. Shegently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we livetogether." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got somethingto tell you," I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topiccalmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked mesoftly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-calledanswer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,"you are not a man!". At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardlygive her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. Sheglanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a strangerone day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected tosee. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorcewhich had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw herwriting something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, Ifound she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and inthe month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason wassimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and shedidn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. Inodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", shecontinued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in yourarms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, youmust carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished toend her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to facethe result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less mademe feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention wasexplicitly expressed. We even treated each othe r as a stranger. So when Icarried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our sonclapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His wordsbrought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed hereyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." Inodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She wentto wait for bus, I drove to office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Irealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a longtime. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkleson her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is beingdemolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we werestill an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. Thevisualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She triedquite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All mydresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it wasbecause she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because Iwas stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand totouch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." Hesaid. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been anessential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer andhugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would changemy mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from thebedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded myneck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back toour wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold mein your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our lifewas lack of such intimacy." I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraidany delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew openedthe door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got nofever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "Ican only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boringprobably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not becausewe didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carriedher into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold heruntil I am old. So I have to say sorry to you." Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammedthe door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wifewhich was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greetingwords on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morninguntil we are old."